WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO FOR YOU?
“What do you want me to do for you?”
The question Jesus asked Bartimaeus the blind (Mark 10:46-52) comes to me as if Jesus is asking the same question to me today…
Last week, I hiked with 3 of my friends at the Laguna Coast Wilderness Park trail in California. We have been friends since our college days. Though we were relatively close to the ocean, the typical cool ocean breeze was scarce or maybe even non-existent. Definitely warmer than we had hoped for hiking temperature, however, we were just delighted to be together. All of us are nearing the big 60 mark. Our conversation included usual family updates especially during the COVID-19 season, our work, as well as somewhat obligatory health updates as in what’s not functioning well in our bodies and how we need to better care for ourselves. One friend is a missionary and a counselor. He and his wife served in Taiwan for multiple years. His recent studies and training led him to now counsel people, and I have seen him immensely enjoying his job (really his ministry), which brings me joy. He is a safe harbor for many restless and needy ships. Another is a trained pharmacist but has developed his own pharmacy business and has done quite well over the years. An avid reader, he is also a wine connoisseur and knows his stuff on other “fancy” drinks. He has a knack for being at the right place at the right time with the right people. Very good people and resource connector he is! Last but not least is a CPA who co-owns a productive CPA firm. A self-acknowledged workaholic, but now he is ready to retire (in five years he says), slow down, and focus on “sucking out all the marrow of life.” A sympathetic person at his core, he is meticulously caring and a defender of the needy. During our outdoor brunch after the hike, he boasted rightfully how his son in NYC texted him saying he was praying for our friends’ time to be meaningful.
One of our conversations revolved around pursuing after our passions, especially as we near our retirement mark. How there are so many other passions that our current work does not sufficiently capture or contain. . . from simple and mundane things as serving at a church, exercise, travel, taking classes at a city college, and spending time with adult children, to a deeper groanings of our passions including establishing a non-profit to help young underprivileged children in Asia to help people to better manage and steward their finances and thus better position themselves to help others to deep listening to people’s pains, grievances, and problems and offer practical and sustainable solutions.
Next day I am confronted and reminded by the question Jesus asked Bartimaeus. “What do you want me to do for you?” The “me” here is Jesus! Jesus who is fully trusted and trustable. I picture Jesus standing in front of me and asking the question and warmly inviting me to respond with his eyes locked on mine. Everything else blurs out of focus in the background. As is the case with Bartimaeus, I believe Jesus already knows what my response is even before I start to piece some meaningful words together. I am forever catching up with Jesus as it should be because Jesus is always ahead of me. He is the way.
And then I blurt this out to Jesus.
I want to live a simple, unhurried, and meaningful life in a quiet and uncrowded place. This whole statement would normally be shocking even to myself because I would not have written this statement 10 years ago.
I want to find joy in small things in life. I want to slow down long enough to smell the lavender, trace butterflies with my eyes, find meanings in poems and paintings and songs and other creative works, recognize people as God’s gifts, etc. The list goes on…
I want to read, write, and speak. This summarizes my desire to grow, understand, perceive, and to communicate. Communication toward communion with God, ourselves, and others. I uttered an inner cry a week ago that “I must speak” during one of the group spiritual direction where I volunteered to share. During the session, my wife shared that it sounded like a lion roaring coming from my soul.
I want to engage in group spiritual direction with my wife. We have been immensely enjoying facilitating several groups in this season. There is deep joy welling up in how we complement and supplement one another.
I want to guide and develop people to discover God’s divine blueprint in them as God’s image-bearers. I say “I” but it is really being an active assistant to the Holy Spirit that is already working.
Then I imagine Jesus saying, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.”
How would YOU respond to Jesus’ question, “What do you want me to do for you?”
Remember, Jesus already knows our response. We are always in a catch-up mode.