“BECAUSE WE LOVED”

We are on the road again. Willie Nelson’s old and familiar jingle “On the Road Again” plays faintly in the back of my mind. This time, back to the Philippines for the Closing Residency of CenterQuest Asia’s Pilot Cohort. We scheduled for a Grab taxi at an ungodly hour in the morning. The speedometer was hitting close to 94 miles per hour as I was still half asleep. In my slumber, I found myself trying hard to ascertain a flat muffled song from his radio. I really did not have to or want to. Perhaps I was trying to keep my mind occupied with something else than a flying taxi. After a full minute, I realize it is “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. The driver got us in record time which will never be broken at Kuala Lumpur International Airport. I was thankful he got us to the airport “Uber” fast and in one piece. After a brief hesitation, I gave the driver five stars on the Grab app.

I attended the Opening Residency last January which coincided with my 60th birthday. Right after the participants sang the birthday song for me which landed on me as an unmerited favor, I was given time to say something to the group of people who were strangers only days earlier. After a week of fellowship and sharing as “Grace’s husband,” I uttered an unrehearsed statement saying, “Thank you. I came because I wanted to support my wife. You were Grace’s community. But after a week, I feel like you have become my community.” I was surprised by what came out of me. My mouth beat my intuition to the punch. Though people clapped for acceptance and encouragement, the sound of clapping got drowned by what I was trying to process my utterance.

Afterward, I have been in touch with a few participants until now. I am still participating as a guest, but my hope and anticipation in hearing their journeys firsthand are several notches higher this time. This coming week represents an opportunity and invitation to develop newer friendships. Seeds got planted last year. This week will be a time to water and nourish the plants.

On my flight, the duet song by Choi Jung Hoon of Jannabi and Kang Minkyung called “Because We Loved” is on a loop mode for close to two hours. This is not uncommon for me as one particular song or music will grab me, and I would be stuck with it, ad infinitum. The lyric is a poignant story of lovers’ shared past, but the strong melody sans lyric is what captivated my heart. The harmonious melody provided the empty canvas for my mind to wander into reflecting and celebrating all the friendships in my life.

Some have been forged well over four decades while some are newer, journeying in the same direction. As we get older, new relationships are just as precious mainly because our ways are more refined and defined by who we are becoming. Thus, we naturally look for and resonate with people who tend to be walking on the same narrow path. Some are much older and richer with life experiences than me while some are decades younger and more energetic. Age is not a barrier but a doorway into expansive vicarious wisdom. When I was younger, I, without knowing, used to categorize and compartmentalize my friends, i.e. ministry, college, church, basketball, etc. I kissed the categorization goodbye.

Friendship represents comfort and security like well-worn gloves. Friendship embraces anticipation and surprises of the unknowns through each other’s stories unfolding. Friendship acts as a mirror to one’s own soul’s discovery and becoming. Friendship is like a spring well that continually gifts courage to live one’s authentic life. Friendship is a sanctuary of rest and a haven of bliss for one’s weary and tired soul. Friendship accrues memory bank deposits full of tears despair and hilarity, sweat from exhaustion and exhilaration, breakthroughs and miracles that are both unique and universal. Friendship celebrates differences over uniformity. Truly, no man is and ought to be an island. Being the oldest tale since the time of the plurality of humans, friendship bonds disparate and isolated souls. After all, Nelson’s song’s third line captures, “The life I love is makin' music with my friends.”

While I am responsible for living my life, friendship offers wider and deeper seeing, knowing, and coloring that ultimately aids my journey. While it is true that the authenticity of others’ journeys has a deep impact on my own, I first must be true to my becoming. That is the only and the best thing I can offer as a friend to others.

Friendship wears a badge of honor, celebrating the long tradition of what is good in humanity. Friendship is a living proof of grace at work. Ultimately, friendship is an embodiment of love, love that is not perfect but love that is learning to be perfect and whole, shaping us to be love and do love. Thus, drawing us all closer to God and to be in union with God, who is nothing but Love.