“IT WAS LIBERATING TO ME”

This morning, I was looking back to my time at the conference my wife and I attended in Jeju Island back in October. I did not write this piece back in October, but this morning, a month and a half later. I am surprised by the energy this memory grants me today. . .

The morning after the Halla Mountain hike (back in October), I gave a paper at the annual Asia Society for Frontier Mission (ASFM) conference, titled Human and Spiritual Journey as Subjective, Personal, and Experiential (which I featured in the previous posts). I knew my paper was not necessarily in line with the missiological tradition in nature. I did not want to. I wanted to be authentic with myself and my own journey and wanted to test the ground whether some aspect, some existential and some practical, of my human and spiritual journey would find resonance. I have been convinced that most of the missiology in the past failed to include and/or adequately address the existential nature of humanity. Before we are Americans, Koreans, Korean-Americans, or something else, we are all humans. Before we are Christians, Muslims, Hindus, or something else, we are all humans. Before we think we are privileged, underprivileged, powerful, powerless, influential, or irrelevant, we are all humans.

I knew the participants would be from multiple cultures and religious traditions from Asia, all following Christ. ASFM over the years has stood firm and tall, carving out its bold stance outside the boundary of the Christendom. This idea of “beyond Christendom” is something I have embraced in its early formative years. The eventual acceptance was not without great struggle. After wrestling with many uneasy questions, my once sure foundation of Christianity crumbled and was replaced by the Kingdom of God foundation. I have come to appreciate and espouse the radical inclusivity and generosity of the nature of the Kingdom of God. I came to see that Christendom was and is far from the reality of the Kingdom of God.

While I was comfortable and felt at home with the participants, I was not sure whether my “message” would find its footing. Thus, I was prepared to treat this year’s ASFM as my last. Plus, this year’s theme was about the “next gen” leadership and the makeup of the participants reflected the theme. Compared to the previous years, this year’s average age decreased significantly. There were seven younger leaders, all in their 20s, from Southeast Asia, several of them were imams (religious leaders in Islam traditions, similar to the concept of pastor) in their own villages and towns. There were also several younger leaders from the US and fewer from Korea. As such, I was curious and looking forward to how “younger” leaders would respond to my talk.

I was given a generous amount of time, long enough to present my paper and have ample time for questions and answers. During our large group Q and A, a Hindu follower of Jesus who is also an influential leader said some glowing things about my paper and told me that he resonated deeply. He did have one question: Where does community come in the pursuit of our journey as subjective, personal, and experiential? I affirmed it was a great question and I simply said that personalism cannot be separated from community. One reason I did not use the word, individual (over personal), was precisely because it can be viewed as possessing an anti-community sentiment. The idea of personalism and community go hand in hand as none of us live on an “island.”

After a few more affirming responses, a short silence followed. A young imam from Southeast Asia broke the silence. Since his English was not his mother tongue, he said the following through a translator. “Your paper was liberating to me. The older and more seasoned imam in my surrounding village has also tried to “correct” my interpretation of the Quran.” He then went on to say that there are some Christian missionaries in his area who also have “policed” his interpretation of the Bible. Since he is a baptized follower of Jesus, some Christians in his area know the young imam and apparently tried to correct his theology. I do not know the context. Perhaps the missionaries were well-intentioned. However, the young imam’s choice of word was that he was being “policed.” One could hear a pin drop during his short response. He was exhibiting no visible emotions, but everyone felt his genuineness, candor, and vulnerability. I knew it took an act of great courage for him to say what he said.

After another short silence, I broke the silence this time and told the young imam (through a translator) that I apologized on behalf of Christians and asked for his forgiveness. I was perturbed and moved with compassion at the same time. After the short exchange, tears flowed. If there was one moment at the conference, that would be the still picture that elevated the entire conference for me.

After my presentation, I had fruitful interactions with multiple people throughout the conference. On one of our outings to a meal outside the hotel venue, I sat with the young imam and his translator and enjoyed hearing his story. I learned that he was only 20 years old. As we bid farewell toward the end of the conference, the young imam and I shook hands and while holding my hand, he placed my hand to his forehead as a gesture of honor and respect. I felt honored and glad that I remained true to my journey of learning. What I potentially thought to be my last ASFM turned out to be an affirmation and confirmation of my direction both now and in the future. And that I must speak. . .