RIVER AND WIND — free as the sky

I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise
Of its own unfolding.

Above is one of my favorite poems by John O’Donohue called fluent. “Would” captures my heart today. It’s a hopeful word that speaks to my deep intuitive desire that can easily be drowned in fear and anxiety of “surprises” of the river. I also want to “flow”, not manufacture or perform for approval and affirmation.

“You need not see what someone is doing to know if it is his vocation, you have only to watch his eyes: a cook mixing a sauce, as surgeon making a primary incision, a clerk completing a bill of lading, wear that same rapt expression, forgetting themselves in a function.

How beautiful it is, that eye-on-the-object look.”

— W. H. Auden

“Forgetting themselves in a function” is to flow. There is something terribly attractive about letting ourselves just be in innateness and noncoercion. I ask myself when does my eyes reveal the rapt expression?

I would like to lay one more layer to this line of reflection. Adrian Van Kaam was a writer I turned to during my soul’s darkest days, a few years ago. The Dutch Catholic priest writes in his book, Living Creatively, that originality “is like a unique mark each man receives at birth. It is his latent ability to be himself in his own way.” One question is how do we turn our latent unique potentiality into operational unique reality? Van Kaam presents an interesting insight, “His originality shines through not in what he does but in the way he does it, not in the customs he has but in the way he lives them.” Speaking for myself, when I think of being in flow and being fluent, I immediately think of what I do, not how I do what I do. What Van Kaam is saying, I would like to think, is that our originality flows out of being and that our created nature dictates and discerns how we live our life, uniquely and unrepeatably. After Jesus healed a deaf man, “And they (the crowd) were astonished beyond measure, saying, ‘He has done all things well. He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak‘” (Mark 7:37). Mark made sure to capture the word well that can be translated as beautifully, finely, or excellently. It is about acting rightly. It is different from merely doing the right things but doing the right things rightly.

A couple of practical insights from Van Kaam are helpful to consider. He advises that giving specific directions to our spontaneous inclinations is a first step. This is no failure proof step. This first step is riddled with risks, and requires courage. Even then, what matters is that we listen long enough to discern our soul’s spontaneous inclinations to lay out actionable steps. Van Kaam goes on to say that courage is one value (especially in our day) that is lacking for us to live our own lives in the seas of doubt and anxiety. Courage does not mean fear-less, doubt-less, or anxiety-less, but shows up into translated action in spite of fear, doubt, and anxiety. Courage to be and to do. . .

CONNECTION

Finding or creating a community that imbues courage and freedom seems to be a must for all of us. Discovering our originality and flow can never be an isolated journey.

I am a huge fan of Sohyang, Korean singer, with a God-given angelic voice. Talk about being in the flow or forgetting oneself in a function. She embodies being fluent. She recently sang in Begin Again Korea (Korean TV show) a song called A Song of Wind. I would like to share the link and my translation of the lyrics below. Be blessed as I was blessed.

When will I be able to hear
the song of the wind?
As time passes, will I ever realize
the reason why flowers wither?

People who leave me and
People who I meet
All the passing relationships and longing
Where do they all go?

I cannot know with my tiny wisdom
What I do know is how to live now

Many times of failure and anguish
We have realized they can’t be avoided
If now love is the answer
I will love everything in this world

People who leave me
People who I meet
All the passing relationships and longing
Where do they all go?

I cannot know with my tiny wisdom
What I do know is how to live now

Many times of failure and anguish
We have realized they can’t be avoided
If now love is the answer
I will love everything in this world

I will love everything in this world