LISTEN. . . AND SEE
“You wish to see; listen. Hearing is a step toward Vision.” St. Bernard of Clairvaux
During the past week, I heard the news of two close friends’ father and wife, respectively, passing into eternity. It is widely understood that hearing is the last sense to go when one dies. Hearing is the first sense in the womb and the last until we take our final breath. Isn’t it interesting that we can close our eyes and choose not to see, but we cannot truly shut our ears? Our ears are always on, even while we are sleeping. How we come into life and depart from this life is shaped by our ability, a divine gift, to hear. Over time, both will see what I can never see from this side of heaven. If they are “sleeping,” do they still have the ability to hear? I do not know.
Speaking of hearing, we heard the invitation from our friends in Singapore and from God to make a weekend trip over the strait. We had made a plan to be there in December but the day before our departure I came down with COVID, so we had to scrap the trip. Since the symptoms were very mild and the second red line was so faint that I almost was in denial. After looking at my strip, my wife simply told me, “You have COVID.” Thus, for our friend’s sake, I called it off. This was a long-anticipated makeup trip.
One of the gifts we have received during our one-year stay in Malaysia is that we have communities of friends sprouting up in several countries in Asia. Singapore has become one of those hubs of friends, thanks to CenterQuest Asia community. Since I attended the Opening Residency as a guest/observer and the Closing Residency in 2023 and 2024 respectively, we connected with several folks from Singapore. Similar in age range, we began journeying with each other’s lives in intimacy and vulnerability. At least two couples flew out to Korea at different times to spend a week with us, giving us opportunities to host.
All are associated with CenterQuest Asia and I love that the community is ecumenical, broadening my perspective on spirituality and humanity. Several are part of the “Asia Poet Society” I initiated. We meet monthly for two and half hours and learn to “live deep and suck out all the marrow of life” as Thoreau put it wisely. We skillfully and graciously companion one another through each of our tender and honest poems.
Singapore is one of the best foodie paradises known to humankind. And I am certainly a human! I realized that through my frequent past trips, but I never had local friends to guide and pamper me. From al fresco dining while feasting on fish head curry soup, roti prata, prawn noodle soup, and the famous chili crab to boutique restaurants where we enjoyed fusion pasta dishes and steak paired with wine and beer (not to mention the homemade eight, really fifteen, treasure noodle soup), we were in foodie paradise, eating from the moment we woke up until it was time to crash for bed. Upon returning to KL, one of the first things we did was hit the gym!
Putting food aside, what gives me life is the mutual desire for deeper connections and to live the rest of our lives with our arms wide open, charting new paths. The quest for the motivation of true self arises not from the pursuit of significance or needs, but from how God has formed us. None of us desires to “make” ourselves; all desire to discover how we are made. If and when we are honest with ourselves and our journeys, I firmly believe we can all reach that destination. The ability to be honest is a grace in itself, while at the same time, we embrace grace through self-compassion. Ultimately, this is the only quest that is worthy of our attention. The invitation to listen as a step toward vision is fitting in this journey. What and how we listen will determine what we see and how we live our lives toward the Vision of true self.
Yesterday, I read the Facebook post that my friend’s wife passed. I called my friend in Korea and told him I would like to come and visit him over the next weekend after all the formal funeral procedures. I know I will have nothing to offer or say, but only to listen.