PROMPTS & PRACTICES | EXERCISE SELF-COMPASSION
Practicing self-compassion translates into rejecting self-condemnation. It is an exercise of faith of receiving God’s unending mercy in our life. If we reject this truth and do not embrace this, then what we are in fact saying is that we are too good to accept our failures and brokenness when God says exactly the opposite. When we admit both our failures and accept God’s mercy, we can then extend grace and compassion toward ourselves. If we are honest, we are often the biggest critic of ourselves. We can be extremely harsh and even violent to ourselves. The practice of self-compassion keeps us healthy and whole, not because we don’t fail, but precisely because of it. Shame and guilt don’t weigh us down to the point of destruction and death.
Parker Palmer says it well. “Wholeness is the goal, but wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.” Being human and being perfect do not go together, at least in this life. We are called to be whole through multiple doors of brokenness. The practice of self-compassion is then saying a big yes to God’s unending mercy over and over again. When God says, “I love you,” we say, “thank you. I love you too.” Furthermore, as we practice self-compassion, we then create capacity to extend generous compassion toward others. We become conduits of compassion and active assets of God’s grace at work.
Practices
Embrace God’s tender loving care by writing a letter to yourself with acceptance and compassion amid guilt and shame. It doesn’t have to be long. Write another letter to yourself as if God is writing you a letter of forgiveness and love.
In specific moments of needing self-compassion, ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” After discerning what you need to hear from yourself, say it out loud to yourself.
We all have good friends. Think of a scenario where your good friend has come to you, broken and needing sympathy and compassion. Ask yourself: How would I treat my good friend? Learn to treat yourself like you would a good friend and notice any changes.