MY MASTER

From time to time, I have meditated on the Scripture with an imaginative lens, focusing on the senses and affect. Inspired initially by Mary Oliver’s poem, The Poet Thinks about the Donkey, one Chuseok (Korean autumn harvest festival) holiday morning, sitting in a cafe overlooking the unusually large patch of green grass in front of me, I let my imagination run wild and below is my journal entry.

“Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately as you enter it, you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden; untie it and bring it.” (Mark 11:2, NRSV)

I was young. Waiting and waiting for my turn to serve my master. Master would choose me. I was used to standing and waiting. As I am from a small and insignificant village away from the big town, idle waiting was the name of the game. I was not sure when my turn to serve would come.

Then one day, everything changed. I do not know how it happened but two strangers I have never seen before approached me and took me away, still not riding me. Just outside the main city, a man was patiently standing and waiting. I thought he was waiting for something else, but he was waiting for me. His time would not come until I showed up.

His upright posture was not that of impatience or even a remote sense of irritability as I realized that he and I share something in common, waiting. His gentle but resolute gaze told me he had been waiting for his time. Did I say his eyes? His eyes were deep, humble, and full of unrequited love. They were also filled with resolve and sadness. I was trained to look down all my life to see the road, but I lifted my eyes to look into his eyes. Looking into his eyes, my existence made sense for the first time. He did not have to utter any word for I understood that he was going to be my master.

I was somehow in the middle of his plan. I still do not know why he needed me because it was such a short distance, not the grinding journey I had heard about. I still do not know how he knew me and found me. Unknowing and security do not always mesh well, but I welcomed unknowing as part of knowing my master. I could have easily and willingly carried him to the end of the earth and back. He was an average man of height and weight, but I felt like I was carrying the light from heaven. Honestly, I only felt the worn and warm cloaks on me the whole time. Though I was bridled for the first time, I experienced an unbridled joy as a gift from heaven.

Never have I seen the size of a peaceful crowd I saw that day. Just as my master donned cloaks on me, the crowd also came prepared as they spread cloaks and the leafy branches on the road. I knew my master was the main attraction for the crowd, but for a fleeting moment, I too felt proud to be me and used by my master. The thought entered my mind to mimic a proud high-stepping horse returning from winning an epic war campaign, but I knew I was a donkey so simply decided to be me. Besides, my master was not a war victor but a humble servant. Through it all, I must have smiled from ear to ear though nobody noticed as their eyes were squarely on my humble and light master.

A couple of months later, I saw him again on the road. He had holes in his hands and his feet were light as ever, filled with purpose. I knew he saw me as our eyes locked again. Though he did not need to for his eyes said everything I needed to hear, he gave me a faint smile and I melted all over again.

Since then, others have ridden me over the years. Some ridiculed and even cursed me as they associated me with my master from long ago. I have also become somewhat famous for the same reason. All the while, I swear I have seen him from time to time, enough to remind me he is near and still walking around, ever humble and light.

________

I am older now, having lived my life and having done what I needed to do. I have become shrewd, knowing how to cut corners, conserve energy, and fake being sick in order to save myself. I was once young, wide-eyed with eagerness, and full of zeal. As I unknowingly waited for my one and only master to find me and ride on me, I must knowingly and expectantly discover once again to wait for my master to use me. I know he is around.