MORE ON POETRY
One of the tangible benefits of the online poetry studio has been the ability to pay attention. During the last two weeks, one of the prompts was to look at a scene or an image and see what arises in you. The prompt is not merely to describe in detail but to describe and project what is being evoked in you. You are to pay attention and see what floats in your mind’s and heart’s imagination.
As you are paying attention, you are to let it flow out of you without filtering and self-critiquing thoughts. I discovered that I do not often know where I am going when I begin writing. I find this fascinating and exhilarating. It is almost like I am learning to excavate beyond the known self and explore deep into the hidden and subliminal self. I do not have lots of data with me yet. But often I am invariably surprised by what is coming out of me. At the same time, some of my deepest-held values (I would like to think they are congruous with God’s characters) are finding their poetic imagination and voices.
To use Richard Rohr’s often quoted sayings with a bit of a twist, “How I see anything is how I see everything.” (Rohr says, “How I do anything is how I do everything.”) Paying attention is the beginning of devotion, I am learning. If I see one thing with loving and compassionate eyes long enough, I can see Reality as God intended. I am closer to seeing what is being seen, not what I want to see. Seeing what is being seen requires an absence of comparisons and judgment.
God sees us what is being seen, full of mercy and acceptance, regardless of the state that we are in. That level of seeing moves us closer to God and God’s unconditional seeing. God’s eyes are full of compassion always and forever.
Devotion comprises an honest poetic portrayal of our heart, even against God. The angriest Psalm (Psalm 44) does not come across as being rebellious unto God, but exactly the opposite, faithful. (I love that the Bible includes such a “blasphemous” and rebellious Psalm!) Psalm 44’s faithful rendition is based on the Israelites’ experiences of God’s faithfulness in the past and the perceived lack or absence in the present. God is that generous to our honesty and devotion if I can call it that. God calls us to pay attention to our hearts and be truthful. Which translates into devotion. And the devotion can even be called worship.
By paying attention, the illusion loses its grip and vigor. Attention penetrates and dissolves illusions like mists in the early morning. I cannot pay attention unless I slow down. Paying attention is directly proportional to slowing down. The speed of life particularly in Malaysia after recent busy travels gifts me with a slower pace, and thus ample room for paying attention. I know this may be a passing season, so I am learning to revel in it. This poetry studio could not have come in at a better time.
One more processing thought. So far, writing poetry has been a string of multiple internal fights against doubt. I often find myself doubting and questioning. I have had to remind myself, “Trust yourself. Trust the process.” I am also drawn to poetry of nature more than any category. As a city boy all my life, the first Yangpyeong one-month stay back in 2022 has significantly opened my eyes, imagination, and appreciation for nature. I find myself yearning for more.
Poetry as a discipline slows me down and invites me to pay attention to a world I happen to be inhibiting and where the interior self meets the external reality. I do not know where this stage of life will take me, but for now, I am full of vibrant engagement with an open-handed posture.