STORIES MAKE US WHO WE ARE — free as the sky

We are who we are because of the unrepeatable unique stories we all possess. Stories make us who we are. All stories have the good, the bad, and the ugly. Good in that our stories contributed to the overall good. Bad in that our stories participated in the negation of the good and perhaps even contributed to the destructive. Ugly in that our stories exhibited complicity or passivity in the face of injustice, wrongs, and hatred. Our stories are known and unknown, seen and unseen, and accepted and unaccepted, both by us and by others. Our stories also include jubilant ups, perilous downs, as well as monotonous consistency and equanimity. When we come to tell our stories without defending and with honest awareness and acceptance, we can then truly become owners of our stories.

Surely, my story is a mixed bag of the good, the bad, and the ugly. My story is defined by my heritage, which I had no control over, such as the Gyeong Ju Kim family clan I was born into in 1963 in Seoul, Korea, heroes who shaped, impacted, and guided me, high points of mountain top experiences as well as a profound awareness of ordinary moments, hard times of walking in the valley of the shadow of death, and the hand of God experiences that have awakened and guided me toward love and salvation. There is also a healthy dose of shame and guilt which made my journey of owning my story a challenging one. I come to God not because I am alright or even upright, but precisely because I am broken and needy. I am utilizing maximum usage out of God’s grace.

Which brings me to God’s story. . . God has a story too. God’s story is bigger, more expansive, more inclusive, more radical, more gracious, and more mysterious than I care to admit. I used to think of God’s story as one straight line, never veering right or left, or up or down, starting from before the creation of the world to the end of human history and beyond. But because God’s story is so much bigger and wider than anyone can imagine, even in “ups and downs” and “rights or lefts,” it still is a straight line. God’s story is bigger and wider because I would like to think, it encompasses all of creation's story. In some mysterious ways, we are already part of God’s story. We can’t ever get out or opt-out. In some other ways, we are constantly invited and wooed to join God’s story. Joy and fulfillment abound in saying multiple yes-es to the invitation, precisely because it answers our ancient longing to belong.

Justifiably, because our stories define us, we all naturally have a reference point in seeing and perceiving reality. It is neither right nor wrong to have such a reference point. My story can never be someone else’s. I have to live out my story, not someone else’s. However, I dare not force my reference point and impose the values and convictions that arose from my story on others. Rather, accepting and valuing my reference point because it is mine while also embracing others’ reference points as valuable as mine is the beginning step of creating a safe and authentic community.

Because we all have reference points and because God weaves all our reference points into God’s story, no one can claim one’s reference point as the reference point for all. If we are honest, egoic infatuation for domination has existed all throughout history under the banner of unhealthy individualism (I am better than you), distorted ethnicity (We are better than you), parochial nationalism (My country is better than yours), and “justified” religiosity (My religion or denomination is better than yours). Note that there is a healthy side of individualism, ethnicity, nationalism, and certainly religiosity. However, our ego always wants to win by comparison and competition. History is littered with such bleak and unfortunate mishaps. Just think of the empires that rose and fell by the wayside, the “isms” that were sure to replace all other "isms" as irrelevant, the wars (political, cultural, and religious), the colonizations, the so-called “clash of civilizations,” and the list goes on. My own history is no exception in that I admit my culpability in believing I was better than others, my people were better than such and such, and my country (Korea and/or USA) was better than other countries. However, the worst of them of all was the thought that my faith or religiosity was more orthodox and genuine than others.

The admission and awareness for humbly accepting our tireless egoic function of placing others below us is a starting place for humans to live as humans. There can be true dignity, equality, and solidarity as human beings. One of the hardest teachings of Jesus is found in Matthew 7 where Jesus told his followers not to judge and condemn others. Later in the chapter (7:12), Jesus sums up his teaching by saying, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” What stern warning followed by poignant wisdom! The so-called Golden Rule is none other than love in action. In my own field of missions involvement, I am reminding myself that this awareness has got to be the undergirding belief and the outflowing practice of my missional engagement. In due process, we can faithfully aid and cheer for one another in pursuing the discovery process of our stories and God’s story.