HOW WE ARE FORMED
“My self is given to me far more than is formed by me.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
For centuries, various streams of monastic traditions have tried to answer the questions of “how are we formed?” and “how are we to serve the world?” The need and relationship between formation and service are proven timeless truths, representing two sides of the same coin in intimacy and tension. The most vibrant faith communities and structures, including monastic traditions, have been the ones that have embraced both formation and service without sacrificing one for the other.
If our formation is more about discovering who we already are because it is given to us (and I believe it is), then how we go about educating and training needs to reflect the discovery process. In other words, it is more about unlocking what is already there—the original gift of oneself.
Sadly, and regrettably, the vast majority of learning overlooks and often ignores the discovery process of what is already given to each of us. The discovery is not without hard and intentional work. In short, the discovery process is about self-directed learning in direct contrast to teacher-directed learning. There are several key differences between the two types of learning. I would like to share two things that stand out to me.
Teacher-directed learning assumes that the learner is dependent on the teacher in what and how the learner should be taught. The teacher is the expert, and the learner, therefore, needs to submit to the teacher’s authority and expertise. Obviously, there is some merit in this type of learning especially in areas of high skills and expertise. While accounting for merit in certain contexts, teacher-directed learning often ignores the experiences of the learners. Experiences are experiences because they are subjective in nature. Everyone’s experiences are unique, and self-discovery learning takes advantage of the experiences and capitalizes on them. To be human is to experience. And to be spiritual is to experience. What is given to us (who we are) invariably over time will flow out into one’s life experiences because our Creator grants us clues (which is our life) to unlock and discover who we are. The thing that concerns me is that under teacher-directed learning, the teacher assumes that his or her experiences are more valid and more valuable than those of the learners.
Secondly, self-directed learning assumes that learners are highly motivated by internal incentives and drives, including curiosity, life’s real problems, etc. (i.e. painting, cooking, peace-making, fixing homes, etc) whereas teacher-directed learning assumes and leans on external rewards and punishments. It was not until too long ago that I still dreamt that I had failed a class or two at UCLA and that my diploma had been revoked. It is a nightmare that is unfounded but perhaps shows how I have been conditioned by the external rewards system. The monumental motivational differences between the two kinds of learnings make anyone’s self-discovery learning complex and treacherous to navigate, I admit. I wish I can say I successfully rejected the dominant system of teacher-directed learning. I have had to compromise and navigate the learning journey to appease the system but at the same time took greater control over time and discipline to focus on what was mine to learn. The fact that the world system still runs on the external rewards system track is a modern merit-based predicament and a trap that does not help the discovery process of who we each are. Merit-based learning seriously undermines and even betrays the dignity of discovery-based learning and furthermore, the very dignity of each human being.
Thomas Merton wrote in favor of what he called “human training” (italicized are his) for the preparation of postulants. Merton valued the necessity of “human training” and wrote, “He is going to learn to go through normal human experiences and be aware of them and of himself with a certain amount of depth. He is going to learn to be alone with himself and with his thoughts. To sit still. To work at making something.” I would observe that though Merton used a different language, he was leaning on human experiences and embracing self-directed learning.
Looking back, one of my finest periods of learning took place during my World Christian Foundations program at William Carey International University. The word foundations suggests that the content was broad and expansive, tracing the impact of the gospel in the context of global civilizations up to the present time. The part I enjoyed the most was the research paper writing projects. Having studied engineering during my bachelor’s degree days, writing research papers was foreign to me. During each semester, I was given a wide space to write a research paper of my interest and desire. I researched, compiled, and wrote papers of my liking and interests. The papers were my response to my then BIG questions stemming from my experiential context. As such, I remember what I have learned and value the self-directed learning process.
At the same time, what Merton penned as learning to be alone with himself and to sit still would be something that I would learn much later in my ministry years. Learning to be human includes my interests and questions, but it also goes fundamentally deeper than my desires and interests. If myself is given to me, then I have to be at home with myself. The movement from one’s “having to be” at home over time to “wanting to be” at home is an ideal picture of coming home to oneself. Being at home with myself is practicing self-love, not selfish love because it is ascribing value to the Giver. My worth is a gift to be unpacked and discovered, not something I can earn or formulate.