GROOMING CURIOSITY

During our time in Asia, I have been pursuing curiosity trails to my great satisfaction. During my leadership years, pursuing curiosities was a luxury much less paying attention to them. One, you don’t have time. Two, you neither have the mental space nor physical stamina to pursue them. And three, having curiosities meant acknowledgment of “I do not know.” I couldn’t not know as a leader. I operated with the mindset that I should know and even if I did not know, I still had to work with what I knew and made decisions.

When my children were adorably little and innocent, their appetite for curiosities seemed never-ending like waves hitting the shore. Their voracious appetite benefitted me as a parent, when I was not too tired, to reexamine what I knew or what I thought I knew. I saw my curious and innocent self in them through my interaction with them. In many ways, we learn and get ushered into adulthood by pursuing curiosities. However, it is ironic that once we hit “adulthood,” we tend not to pay attention to curiosities. Rather we are conditioned to shut them down. Having curiosities is a combination of acknowledgment of what I do not know and a loud clue to what I may be passionate about. Unfortunately, as we grow old and supposedly become more mature, we lose the childlike sense of curiosity and wonder.

As a freedom seeker of my heart, I am relearning to make space and time to pay attention and pursue curiosities as they come. What helps, of course, is the fact that we are now living and traveling in Asia. This new life environment and pattern with less oversight and responsibilities opens up my sense of curiosity and wonders to another level. Sometimes I feel like a restless kindergartener in the body of a 60-year-old man.

About a year ago, I said “yes” to speaking at a church for her 18th anniversary in the Philippines. What prompted my decisive decision was that a woman who gave me prophetic words more than a year ago in the Philippines invited me and my wife as honored speakers. I was curious to find out what God had in store for us. I knew nothing about the church leading up to the 18th anniversary and I chose not to concern myself with trying to find out about the church through what is available online. I also knew she as a founder and leader (along with her husband) of the church with satellite house fellowships spread over the Philippines did not know about me either. She was exercising faith in inviting a pseudo-stranger. She knew my wife as she and my wife both serve as mentors for CenterQuest Asia School of Spiritual Direction. I was known to her as Grace’s husband and it felt right.

We landed in the Philippines a few days ago. My wife led a leadership retreat last Saturday at a beautiful retreat venue near Taal Lake and the volcano in Tagaytay. The next day, I gave a sermon to a large live audience as well as through a live feed. Hours before the anniversary service on Sunday, the pastor found out through my brief bio that I had been with Frontier Ventures (formerly known as the U.S. Center for World Mission) for decades. She teared up and shared that they had been praying for our founders and one of their own who worked for the Center. I knew the Filipino staff well. I unlatched a gasping sound and we both let out laughter of surprise. If my memory serves me well, my first sermon was delivered in the Philippines in 1986 during my short-term trip. After the sermon, I gave an altar call. That memory still embarrasses me as it was one of those things NOT to do during the short term! After the sermon this past Sunday, without pre-planning, I was led to give an altar call, asking people to kneel, stand, and take a step forward as the actions served as symbolic postures of our hearts based on my sermon. It felt right this time to kneel and step forward.

The same night, the pastor asked me whether I could help by teaching the charismatic church to engage in missions out of contemplation. She shared that she and the church are tired of pushing themselves hard to “finish the task” like there is no tomorrow. The charismatic church is well on the way to embracing contemplative spirituality to bring shalom to the nations. She asked me earnestly with a hint of urgency whether I could help. I shared with her that I had been thinking a lot about the topic and that I would be willing to help.

Being in Japan was also a pursuit of my curiosity. Except for the founder and director, I knew little about the organization I decided to serve as their advisor. After being with them for a week leading their retreat, Japan opened up our hearts to the people including the workers who have been serving there, some as newbies and some for decades.

I love the wide canvas imagery of Diane Ackerman’s The Great Affair. With very little effort, I can immerse myself as part of the epic imagery.

The great affair, the love affair with life,
is to live as variously as possible,
to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred,
climb aboard, and gallop over the thick, sun-struck hills every day.

Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and unyielding,
and, despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and detours,
life will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a length.

It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery,
but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between. (italicized mine)

Diane Ackerman

While there are many angles to read and ponder this poem, curiosity is the key that unlocks the discovery of “savage and beautiful country lies in between.” We are invited to groom our curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, to climb and gallop over the vast open green field that is before us. Ackerman is right in that riding one’s curiosity is risky. Our life is from mystery to mystery—none of us know or can predict how our life will turn out. In acceptance of mystery, the only way to access the unknowns and the discovery of the savage and beautiful is through acting on curiosity.

Thus, pursuing curiosities can be an act of faith because it is an acknowledgment of unknowing or being in mystery. I do not and cannot ever clearly see the outcome. I trust the process and the outcome once triggered by curiosity about what God will do. Being in Asia is like riding a high-spirited thoroughbred through the thick, sun-struck hills every day, only to discover what is over the hills—the magnificent geography.