COMMUNITY: DOORWAY TO BECOMING HUMAN
7. Nurturing common life among members of an intentional community
8. Support for celibate singles alongside monogamous married couples and their children
9. Geographical proximity to community members who share a common rule of life
The above marks all deal with the ontological importance of community and the various aspects and postures of community that new monasticism embraces. Consider Frederick Buechner’s words, “You can survive on your own; you can grow strong on your own; you can prevail on your own; but you cannot become human on your own.” Not sure if there is a better way to offer this curt summary of becoming human. We just simply cannot become human on our own! “My” human journey cannot be fully completed without being part of the larger “our” collective human journey.
Therein lies one of the most fundamental paradoxes in life: that all of us are utterly individualistic independent human beings and yet we cannot become fully human beings on our own. This is where the paradox of independent and interdependent nature of humanity intersect. It has been said that “what is most personal is most universal.” Henri Nouwen expressed his insight well in this quote:
“. . . anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.
Jesus says, “No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house” (Matthew 5:14-15). The most inner light is a light for the world. Let’s not have “double lives”; let us allow what we live in private to be known in public.”
Two key words stand out in the above marks: common and intent. First of all, there is not a single intentional community without common something or somethings. The prefix “com” (both in community and common) emphasizes togetherness, with-ness, and belonging-ness. Thus, the more important aspect of com is to consider com for what. What are we together about? What do we stand for together? How do we belong to each other? What makes us different from other communities? These are all pertinent questions that beckon thoughtful responses.
The so-called thoughtful responses differ greatly from one community to another. There is no one right response. Some resort and prescribe to rules and regulations or some kind of covenants based on shared values. And even the rules or covenants vary from uber specificities to interpretable general postures. Some communities congregate primarily around mission and vision. They are naturally predisposed to be a mission/vision driven community. Thus, while it is a community, it is mission first with a common task and community second in a supportive role. And then there are some communities that form and nurture based on ethnicities, age, beliefs, or even hobbies. Thus, they all share something(s).
A full disclosure: I am not a rule or regulation person. I am one who thinks that rules and regulations are there to be broken or at least to be revised. I am naturally bent in one direction toward greater latitude and flexibility. The kind of common I resonate with has to do with my sense of calling to live “on the edge of the inside,” or to reside on the margins or peripheries (which incidentally is one of the twelve marks) of dominant communities. To use biblical language, it bears the image of a combination of prophetic and apostolic community. It is a community that is more concerned with why nots than whys, or why the Kingdom isn’t than merely maintaining systems. This is not to say everyone in this particular community has to be either prophets or apostles, but that the community as a whole chooses to stand on the edge of the inside.
While at the same time, this community is not obsessed with orthodoxy and trying to “convert” everyone in its path to the right way of believing. Rather, it is a community that is concerned with orthopraxy, living out the life of the Kingdom. In this sense, the ultimate orientation as well as postures and practices arise directly out of Jesus’ teachings on the Kingdom of God, more specifically, the Sermon on the Mount, and more specifically, the Lord’s Prayer fused with the Great Commandment. In other words, the “com” of community and common is based on the Kingdom of God. As such, we belong to the greater Kingdom community while maintaining the unique and particular callings of our smaller community.
This leads to the word intent. The word intent has its origin as purpose in Latin. We all should aim to be part of a community which speaks of the original meaning of purpose, for we cannot become human without it. Based on my experiences of being part of multiple communities, communities are both a means and an end. Communities that view themselves as a means to achieve or do something greater than themselves can rob themselves of the tangible fruits of immediacy, intimacy, and blessings of being part of communities. Worse still, the trap of thinking that how we relate to or treat one another is secondary as long as we accomplish what we set out to do can be destructive.
On the other hand, communities that view themselves as an end can become insular and fall short of providing fruitful service to the “outside” world. This ultimate tension of both means and an end is what communities have to keep in mind. It becomes an art of living purposefully, integrating living out the Kingdom in immediate communities while providing Kingdom service to the world, thus enlarging the Kingdom communities around the world. In short, it is Kingdom living, nothing short of how Jesus lived and walked on this earth! Another way of saying this is to say that how we do communities is as important as what we do as communities and through communities. Thus in this way, the intention commits to keep the purview of both how and what, sometimes in tension and sometimes in unison.