THE CIRCLE OF GENEROSITY

Gapyeong greeted us with cool crisp air and an unmatched high blue sky, a signature Korean fall sky. Coming from Malaysia, the air was delightfully cool and dry. Driving into the familiar driveway featured rows of apple trees, ripe for harvest. My wife exclaimed, who is a second-to-none lover of apples, “Wow, look at those apples!” While the sound of frogs is no longer present since the rice fields are bare after harvest, the undeniable smell of cows nearby occasionally confuses the crisp air. I did not mind the smell since for one, it reminded me of my childhood in Anseong, and second, even with the whimsical smell of cows, my lungs appreciated me for the cleaner air.

On our way to Sinhari1955 café nearby, we heard the murmur coming from a warehouse storage by the apple orchard which sits adjacent to our place. Driven by curiosity, I decided to step in and learned right away that they were in the middle of harvesting apples and boxing them for sale. Since I did not want the people inside to wonder who the stranger was, I quickly babbled, “Are these the apples you just harvested from the trees?” (My wife reminds me from time to time how big my presence is. I suppose I wanted to downplay my presence but what came out of me was a dud question.) As if to ignore my dumb question, they replied with a proud yes. I followed, “Can I buy a box?” trying to salvage a forgettable situation. In doing so, my mouth beat my thought process. I could not have known how the apple would taste. However, after they offered me and my company generous slices of apple, my mouth approved, and I was sold. I ended up buying a big box, more than what we can consume in the next month. The owner, like a good hospitable country folk, threw in a few more best-looking apples in the box. I have learned that they have been growing apples for the last forty years in the same field. I was told that they are not pretty to look at with not enough bright red colors to attract would-be buyers, but their taste brings back the same customers year after year. We had a visitor the other day and after I told him how tasty the apples were, he quickly secured four big boxes, giving us one box even after I told him we already had one big box. My problem doubled. We will happily be serving the apples to all our friends and visitors.

As we got near the café, we struck up a conversation with the grape orchard owner after I greeted her. She, an older woman who had seen enough sunlight, insisted that we try their grape juice, with nothing else added. We politely said no, more than three times which would have been enough in the Korean context. When she asked the fourth time, I caved in and said yes. She gleefully darted into the storage, ignoring the heap of garlic heads she was peeling. The next thing I saw was all the grape juice pouches she could handle in her two small hands. The just as proud grape orchard owner boasted in her grape juice. Trying to match her exuberance, I feverishly agreed with her. The same visitor who left us with a big box of apples bought and left us with a box filled with grape pouches. Our November Gapyeong guests will also enjoy the juice along with the apples. Both the apple and grape orchard owners can boast without a hint of arrogance because they know the land and have put in hard work, not to mention their craft.

Finally, we got to the café, and the café owner we befriended back in the Spring smiled from ear to ear and showered us a big welcome like old friends. We told the older couple we were back for another month. Before we ordered any coffee, they asked us whether we wanted a napa cabbage head and a radish from their garden. This time, I did not hesitate, having learned from two previous encounters. I said, “Of course,” bordering cultural insensitivity. Happy that I said yes, they took us to their impressive vegetable plot behind the café and shed, cut the cabbage thrice as big as my bald head, and invited my wife to pluck the radish from the ground. My wife also did not hesitate, she pulled the radish and flashed one of the biggest and proudest smiles I have seen since we were with our children. They pulled several more green onions from the field. After getting to our Airbnb, It took us several trips to move everything into the house, with our hearts filled and warmed.

We came back to Gapyeong to provide hospitality and rest to our guests. From the apple orchard to grape orchard to café owners, not to mention our visitors, we are taught how to be hospitable. As we have received, our willing obligation and desire is to give to others, not out of reciprocity but out of enlarging the circle of generosity. “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity,” said Simone Weil. The folks in our neighborhood showered us with generosity by both giving us attention—seeing, noticing, and valuing us—and generous giving. Today, generosity has two names: attention and abundance.